Me

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Boston, Massachussetts, United States
I'm not limited to the blank canvas I was born as. My life is an eclectic melange of vivid colour. I float in a sea of multifarious musings, ranging from worlds of lime green skies and copper stars to winged objects and fairy dust. I am the flirtatiousness of cherry chap-stick, the depths of the cerulean ocean and the violet skies of Monet. I am the brooding dark green of dense foliage, the crimson tint in a blushing girl’s cheeks; the purple of bruised limbs. The complexity of my thoughts keeps evolving, I grow and shrink alternately. I cannot be contained or restrained. The French language is my drug and acne is my worst enemy. I laugh a little too much and am a romantic in the extreme sense. I’m likely to steal the stars from the sky, but my aims remain grounded in reality. I can’t be pigeonholed into a single stereotype, because all labels apply to me at different points in time.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

True


I see the truth.

The truth is this: I'm one hell of a deluded little pixie.

Except the little pixie bit.

I'm not on your mind. Not a trace of me. It's obvious.

Man, what a screwed up waste of hope.

I'm sick of being so naive. I need to assert myself so that I'm not a blur in your vision anymore - preferably not in your vision at all.

I think the best thing to do now is go scrape all the self-pitying skin off my face.

Exams


Every nerd's dream come true, right?

Wrong.

Every minute spent doing something other than studying is killing me. And WHY is it killing me? Because I feel so irrevocably guilty. However, there's no point being a nerd if you can't live up to the label. Therefore, I have decided to take the night off and wake up bright and early and hit the books. OK, hit the book. The annoyingly informative, impossibly large and mercifully colourful Environmental Systems and Societies course companion for IB.Because I still have to finish ecological succession, which I have been putting off for no real reason except for the fact that it annoys me to bits.

I have Math as my first exam on Wednesday, You see, I hate math and everything, but when I practise it and I get things right, I feel like a right genius. (Please do not mention anything about how it's okay for me to feel like a genius since I have maths studies, because if you do, I'll whack you). On a brighter note, I also have French on Wednesday, which makes life a whole lot easier. I mean, studying French is actually fun :P

Anyway, my mom's kind of on my head right now, so I must take your leave

Goodnight :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I've Got the Sickness, Who's Got the Cure?

So I spent a large chunk of my time in the past two days throwing up. I had to skip school, two days in a row, which is really saying something for someone who hasn't skipped in the past 5 years.

I'm too sick to type anymore, so I must go.

Signing off,

A :)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

5th September 2009

My day got off to a healthy start since I woke up and went straight to the gym (oh, how I love the gym) . I had the most scrumptious butter-and-honey-and-maple-syrup pancakes [the benefits of a weight-gain program right there] with a side dish of mouth-watering chicken sausages sautéed in garlic. :)

Of course, when I got home, I had to pretend I hadn't eaten anything so as to avoid a lecture from my mother about the evils of non-vegetarian food; and consequently managed to eat a whole melon...plus a plate full of rice with pickle.

So yeah, I spent the major part of my day stuffing my face.

It's 5:00 PM on a particularly lazy Saturday afternoon and I've just painstakingly squeezed out 500 more words for my Extended Essay. I'm rewarding myself with a 'blog-break', which makes me feel a lot less guilty than sleeping does.

Right now, I feel guilty because I'm surrounded by piles of meticulously compiled, highlighted and colour-coded background notes to help me with my essay and haven't consulted a single one of them in the past hour.

I'm also slowly losing patience with my mother, who's supposed to take me shopping but just won't budge from her favourite spot near the phone. My best friend's birthday is in 2 hours and I know I won't get anything done by then at this rate.

Sigh.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Rambling About Another Day

So I woke up this morning, really psyched because school was only till 1 PM. As usual, I tried to sneak out in one of my old skirts (You see, my new ones are what I like to call He Man skirts - they have all these prissy silver buckles on the side and are MILES long - I'm not even exaggerating). So I lucked out, and found one of my older skirts, which, coincidentally, is dangerously high above the knees :P But what I do is pull them down to PRETEND they're He-Man skirts, sometimes pulling them so far that they nearly fall off; in order to appease my mum.

So after finding a decent skirt and downing my standard glass of milk and eating my compulsory 5 almonds, I was out the door. You see, recently I'm really happy because I've finally added new songs to my iPod. My iPod wire was screwed up, my computer is screwed up, and consequently iTunes was screwed up. But finally, I managed to surpass all three of these seemingly insurmountable problems by
a) borrowing my best friend's boyfriend's iPod wire
b) Downloading iTunes onto my dad's computer
c) Transferring all the music in my computer to his
d) Re-syncing my iPod

So yeah, patience IS a virtue. This is exactly what I was thinking, humming happily along to some Static Lullaby song until I walked headfirst into a tree; and apologized to it.

Yeah..these things happen quite often.

Anyway, I'm upset because my big yellow Spongebob bag is coming apart at the seams. Believe me when I say it's the cutest thing ever. I'm going to miss it...or better still, get it fixed. I've been forced to substitute it with my hippy-esque smileys/rainbows/peace signs one which I bought in Paris. Oh well, I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. :P

Unfortunately, this morning, when I put on my uniform I neglected to notice that I was missing the top button on my shirt. An artistic friend of mine has now labelled me a "button slut" because he could 'see stuff' in math class. So, I, the miracle inventor, used an upside-down hair clip as a makeshift button. In my defense, NOBODY had a safety pin. Not even those housekeeping ladies.

Well, ToK class is never worth talking about. I made up some more bullshit about how man is nowhere without truth, and his very existence is defined by the absolute truth; etc. etc. Of course, I felt supremely inferior (is that even possible?) to a friend of mine who also happens to be in that class since she keeps quoting all these scientific journals and intellectual-sounding publications...oh well.

Fortunately, school ended on a good note because I achieved full marks in a B&M test I was seriously dreading getting back. Who would have thought? :)

So now I'm back home - I'd intended to dedicate all of today to my Extended Essay, but between sleeping, eating popcorn, counselling people and going to dentist appointments, I couldn't seem to find time. And here I am, blogging since I've resolved to blog regularly now.

Anyway, EE calls.

Signing off :)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Happy Couples

I've whined about this countless times in the past, but now it's really getting to me.

To think happy couples could at least hold off making out around a desolate, lonely, destined-to-be-single, un-boyfriendable (non)entity... Well I thought that, but I guess I was just suffering from a momentary lapse in reason.

It's not that I am bitter, because I am not. I'm happy for all these people around me, but sad for myself - if that makes any sense. Because in the end, I'm the one stuck with nobody to go kiss and hug.

I hate self-pity, so I'm going to stop now, but that really doesn't change the fact that I feel like crap.

*sigh*